And Now, Drum Roll Please!
by jobelle516
Summary: If I weren't me, but were Brittany or Finn or Kurt. What would they see? Or if Sue Sylvester should visit me? These chapters are full of Season 5 spoilers. Inspiration while watching, breathing and full on absorbing the episodes. (read, enjoy, review)
1. Love, Love, Love

**Inspiration: **Like seriously, you think anything except my loving adoration and I'll admit it: I'm hooked on Glee. You think anything other than that would inspire these words, that I've just got to throw down on the 'puter-baby and upload for you to read and enjoy? Until next weeks ep.

**Ownership: **The tv, the power bills, the cat food {the cat owns me}, the vet bills, the whole enchilada in my house and me. As for Glee, lots of stuff but not the rights to their show.

**Dedication: **To you, who loves Brittany, and to you who doesn't mind spoilers. Oh and you, over there, hiding behind him, stop doing that for a while. Honestly, get a room.

* * *

**~ Season 5 Ep 1, What could go wrong? ~**

"_Got to get you into my life, da da, da do do, doooooo!"_

I sit down, the show will be on in five whole min uttts.

I don't go on the 'net, I avoid all the teasers. I've eaten dinner, had my rdinks. I'm feeling ready. BRING. IT. ON!

**~ Oh my God, NOOOOOOOOO ~**

Scenario one: I, as always on my 'G Night', fall asleep and wake up during the adverts. I look at the tv and wonder what time it is. And am certain I've been hearing my boyz arguing and promising forever afters, to one another. I do this the whole hour. Just as the end adverts happen, I fall asleep. Just as the adverts start, I wake up and wonder "What's going on?" And then after the show finishes, I sleep solidly for many more hours. I have nightmares and cry in my sleep, and dream Klaine hurts, Hevans above and Kurt's below.

Scenario two: The show is seconds from beginning, and the cat jumps out from behind the entertainment unit, pulls the aerial cords out from the massive, wall size tv unit. She looks at me, so innocently, "Meow, purrrr." I jump up and screeeeeem at her. Oh my God, are you serious. I throw her to one side, and scramble to put all the cables back in. Honestly, I could kill her. When the show finishes of course.

Scenario three: _The following programme is rated PG, parental discretion is advised. It contains strong language and adult themes. Please enjoy, sing along if you wish. Will Kurt take Blaine back? Will Blaine promise to sign a promise note that he won't cheat on Kurt, ever, ever again? Will Rachel and Santana dance and sing in a Café bar, hoping to get Rachel into the show of her dreams? Will the Warblers, Vocal Adrenaline and New Directions sing and dance together? Will Artie and Kitty date secretly. And will Tina get her knickers in a knot about everythi… _OH MY GOOD LORD, NOOOOOOOOOOOO! The blasted power has gone out, because of the windy, windy, stormy weather.

I mean seriously, twenty minutes before the show was to begin, a tree fell on my car. What did I do after I heard the massive crash? Checked the tv was still on, it was. Walked over to the window, looked out, noticed the damage. Looked up at the sky, shrugged my shoulders. Twisted around back to the tv. Checked the power and reception were fine, they were, and I sat down, waiting for the show to begin. I still had eighteen minutes to go.

BUT NOW! I have no friggin power. I throw myself at the tv, check all the connections to the wall. Click, clack, nothing. Must be the tv, check that. Nope! Run outside, smash into the fly screen door. "OW MANNNNNN!" Turn back, rush to get my keys. Grab 'em. Smash my hands with the purple key into the lock, twist and push it open. There's blood from scratches and smashing, but prrffrrr, care factor? Open the meter box. Lift it open, UGH! Two friggin huge hugging huntsmans scramble to a corner. And the power machine, is looking at me, stone cold and not ticking its lovely tune.

**~ Uggg Boots, and just Ugggg! ~**

I sit down on the steps, and cry, cry, cry. The neighbours come running. The police are called. The hup hup people, hup hup down the road to see what's wrong with me {_I'm Brittany Bitch!}_. Helicopters above, firemen and rescue men in their tight uniforms revealling a little too much, and some in baggy cuddliness. The whole town is looking at me and my house, with my wailing loud above the storm. The heavy dark clouds, stop raining. The lightning holds still so the audience can see me, and hear my little voice. I stand up and yell STOP!

The wind stops, shshsh quiet now. A bird trips over a stone on the road, I death stare him. Stomp my foot down. Walk back inside. Lock the wire door, shut my front door. Turn on the radio, when the power comes back on, it will play Misty for me. Grab my blankie, and ride out the waiting game.

Scenario four: The one my family love. And I love them, NOT! _The following programme is rated PG, parental discretion is advised. It contains strong language and adult themes. _RING, RING. RING, RING. My mobile? RING, RING. RING, RING. My landine? RING, RING. RING, RING. My daughters mobile? RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. My mobile, my landline and my daughters mobile are all ringing at the same time! SERIOUSLY! I used to answer them. The callers all knew I was watching my addiction, getting my fix.

Ring, Ring! My big sister, is wetting herself laughing and looking at a photo of me stomping my three year old feet down. This is her favourite photo of me, on her side dresser. Ring, Ring! Our little sister, is looking at my big sister, through the kitchen doorway, and they're laughing together, now. Ring, Ring! My neice, is not getting any Christmas gifts this year, she's sitting with her cousin getting ready for their footy match. Ring, Ring! My nephew is trying on his footy boots, whilst phoning my daughter. Ring, Ring! My brother, and his lovely family have said their predinner prayers, are holding hands and have the phone on loudspeaker, to hear me. That's if I should pick up. Ring, Ring! My best friend, is juggling her hectic family. The kidz are squabbling, the husband is tinkering with his car. The birds twitter, the cat meows and the dog ran away with the spoon. My best friend, stirs her coffee cup and presses dial one more time. Ring, Ring! No Christmas gifts for them either. I have caller id, if I were to look at the phone, after walking to it. pprrffr, not happening.

No more scenarios to play with. I woke up two moments before it began. And I had a Glee-Beatle, Blainey loves Kurt and Kurt loves Blainey, and Tina is Blainey's boo, good time.

And I'm gonna dream good dreams, from all those Klaine pashes! Fine….ahhh…..lleeeeeeeeee!

**~ I Love Glee, we all Love Glee ~**


	2. Tina in the Sky with Diamonds

**Small dedication: **Cheers to the 27th August 2013. That day had my words viewed by 254 times. Amongst my stories, are the threads of my Nightmare. Words of love, dedication, care.

**Inspiration: **Like seriously, you think anything except my loving adoration and I'll admit it: I'm hooked on Glee. You think anything other than that would inspire these words, that I've just got to throw down on the 'puter-baby and upload for you to read and enjoy? Until next weeks ep. Get it out of your system, get the tissues ready. Let this prepare you a little then.

**Ownership: **Glee, lots of stuff but not the copy rights to their show. My imagination, yeah it's mine. And as Sue Sylvester, I feel like she's sitting on my shoulder, like Goofy.

**Bigger dedication: _'_**_That Guy Who Ships Niff' and 'Demon . beneath . the . yaoi2'_. Two people on my mind, lately.

* * *

**~ Season 5 Ep 2, Give me a reason to smile. ~**

This is Sue Sylvester, and this is how Sue See's it. Put your hand in the shape of the letter C. There you go buddy, now pay attention.

Get your trouty mouthed body off the piano, Samjalina Evans.

You want a story about this episode? What makes you think you deserve a story? It's all fiction, it's all imaginary.

Look at me lift my chin up high, and look down at you. Adjust my glasses, how good do I look? No, not a question. !

If this is all imagination, a story, why then are there people in this world, believing that young wanna be Burt Reynolds, Blaine Anderson and Porcelaine, Kurt Hummel should or shouldn't get married?

Let the author press the play button. Get off her back with your criticism. I'm not defending her, I don't do that. Unless it's me that needs defending, and then you better pay attention or I'll do an Aunty Jack and come out of the computer screen and …

Getting off the beaten path. How good is the writer for my words in this show? And I look so good in my track suits.

I'm so glad that he's given me the deserved position of Principal. That Figgins, what a joke. And where is my Becketary? About time she showed herself. I have all these pencils that need sharpening. And my baby Robin needs burping.

**~ Experimental years? ~**

Well risk taking behaviours are nothing to be proud about. Drugs, sex, rock and roll. No we aren't seeing any of that in this show tonight, the drugs or sex. This is being shown at a more appropriate time for the youngins to see. I might mention drugs that I've enjoyed, but I'll say it so quickly, no one else will really pick up what I'm on about.

And with the upcoming episode three, the tribute to Finn Hudson, that would be very tasteless. But keep it at the back of your mind, or the top and let it seep into your thoughts as you go about your daily duties.

Us teachers and senior mentors, are always telling you kidz to not do this and that. You think that we are telling you not to do risk taking behaviours, because we want to keep the records of excellence to ourselves? Not at all, not at all. And then again, probably.

That dope dealing that dope in Season one, who gave Will Schuester a sample, that Sandy Ryerson. Where do you think he is today? I'll tell you where he might be. He might be in jail, serving time for distribution and supply, of that stuff. Or he might be in some psychiatric ward, climbing down from the rafters. Climbing down and up, freaking out 'cause his mind is all mushed up.

And if he's in jail, well, sure he's got himself some sleeping arrangements and some hot food for his belly. But he better be careful dropping the soap! If you know what I mean. He has one beautiful toosh, and such delicate arms. And the right height for one Sue Sylvester. But also for many more, inside the clink. And once he gets out of the slammer. You think it's going to be so easy for him to get his reputation back. To get his lifestyle, of decency back.

Sure in the stories you read, and in the imagination we create, all is sunshine, roses and peachy. But in reality, in reality, in the real, real world? Well this is fan fiction, so in fan non-fiction, his life might truly suck. And of his physical health? Well, in the stories the writers will give him his medication and make him rich enough that he'll either die quickly or not at all. But without the writer's people, without the reader's imagination to accept, he truly might not be wealthy enough to buy the correct medication.

But let's pray he does. Because, leading up to Finn Hudson's tribute, we are going to have some serious trigger issues to deal with. And life's too fantastic to allow any more sad sacks to wither away.

And that Will Schuester, has a lot to answer for, he planted that dope in Finn Hudson's locker, and that's how he tricked the lanky idiot into joining that stupid music programme. I'll try to lay off the Finn Hudson issues for now. But it's kind of hard. When you consider the influences of more than just the Beatles music.

**~ Influential Sue. ~**

Sure, musically minded, the Beatles collaborated on some master pieces. Anyone can do that. But the social influences to get them to produce such magnificent pieces of work, art? The true talent of one Sue Sylvester is written over it. I had a few brief flings in amongst that Linda and Yoko. Not with Linda and Yoko. Let the next lady take them on, I taught Paul and John what they knew.

Of course my favourite drummer will always be Ringo. Oh the paintings he's done of me in my birthday suite, ahhh yes!

And George, oh where do you think the world came up with the saying "I wish my lover George was here"? That was a coined phrase by one Sue Sylvester.

Don't let fear of failure get in your way. That's what I told my fab four. And they didn't. They pushed through their fears. You couldn't even see any fear, you couldn't even smell it.

There were no flies on them. Their music, their songs would be played at all the Junior-Senior Brundleproms to come. And through the halls of high schools, primary schools, kindergartens and teens running after their heroes in cartoon form. For the next fifty plus years since the early 1960's.

No flies on them, not like the ones hanging around Stoner Brett McKowsky. Will that kid ever have cleaner clothes, be fed right and have the necessary vaccinations along with Sam Evans. Yes, this season we all want to see something uplifting coming from the stink bomb that is Stoner Brett.

And Tina Cohen-Chang, John Lennon didn't say he was going to be bigger than Jesus Christ with the same meaning and conviction you appear to have used. He was implying that he would be as influential. And with that influence he was wanting to use it in a positive way. Everyone who has managed to gain an audience, should use that advantage as I, Sue Sylvester, have always done. To benefit others, as well as yourself.

A revolution, is what should be happening with equalizing the advantages of the privileged and under privileged. Yeast infections affect lots of women and men, and children.

Athlete's foot, tinea, big man's yeast infection. Yes, education to the masses, that's what we are all trying to achieve. Candida Albicans, sounds like a Latin dancer.

And yes, those documentaries, are essentially important. Polio, tuberculosis, hepatitis, syphilis, hiv, rubella, those diseases seem to be not around as much. But they still are. The more careful we are with sexual practices and using condoms, the constant vaccinations everyone receives, the less dominance and prevalence will be hoped to keep down.

They're always going to be around, in some form. Let's just hope we keep them at bay from the healthier community. You feel certain you aren't going to catch anything, and you feel certain that if you do catch something you are going to be cured. Well think again, sonny Jim.

The initial symptoms might be brought under control, but the disease itself, might live dormant in you and then, when you least expect it, you'll be as sick as. Why don't you, do yourself a Sue Sylvester favour, and get yourself fully educated. Don't just go to the wikki sites, on the 'net. Go to the local hospital, the library. Join your local volunteer ambulance programme, and really learn.

FACT! Meningitis, is real. FACT! Influenza is real. FACT! Mental health is affected by your physical health.

**~ Musical Interlude and a reason to smile. Obsessive compulsive fan moments. ~**

I, Sue Sylvester, have got some serious concerns about some fan girls at this school. Let me read you this paper I found, stapled on the information wall, with posters of Kitty for Prom Queen.

FACT! Kurt Hummel is adorable in blue pants, dancing on pianos. Singing and dancing around pianos. FACT! I'd get my mojo legs around him any day. FACT!

FACT! Medications, injections and getting good nursey/doctoring should only be done by those with proper training and not inexperienced kute girls.

FACT! Gorgeous guys, like Sam Evans do get needle phobia. And tough mudder men, do faint when they're getting blood tests.

FACT! Not all nursey/doctors take advantage of their patients, even though we find them hot. Like really, really hot. Umina, Umina! Baby!

FACT! Blaine Anderson is dreamy in anything he wears, and doesn't wear. Oh sigh from that Brother's ep, him in the shower. Swoon! And I'd help him take that belt off. Blainey bear with me.

**~ Sue Sylvester, crumples the paper up. ~**

Racism, drug references. Peer group pressure for Dottie. Slushie issues. What the hell. Laughing, bullshit. Blaine STOP! Again. Drive me home, clean me up. I own it. I'm queen T.

Hey Jude. Brett dances with Tina, and she discovers he can really dance. Dottie might have some competition.

Black cheerio.

Are you ready for me? Oh yeah, baby!

CARMICHAEL I love you.

Wrap your arms around me Kurt Hummel.

**~ Let it be, Let it be. ~**


	3. The Quarterback

**Inspiration: **Like seriously, you think anything except my loving adoration and I'll admit it: I'm hooked on Glee. And I saw the s5 ep3 Quarterback. And …..

**Ownership: **Glee, lots of stuff but not the copy rights to their show. My imagination, my words from my heart are mine with full ownership.

**Dedication: **Love and inspiration to all.

* * *

**~ Destination Heaven ~**

A black two door sports car appears. It can't go any faster than right now, can it?

Sure it can, you change the gears and push your foot hard on the accelerator, pedal to the metal. Both hands hold the steering wheel, firmly not too tight. Otherwise your arms will struggle for comfort, fingers and hands and jaw will clench and ache.

Ears hurt, the music can't be up loud enough. Fuel guage indicates sufficient to make it to anywhere. No need to stop just yet, not for hours, not forever.

Up ahead is something new. What's around is here and now. Leaving behind, turning his back on yesterday, on good times, and some bullshit. Leaving behind Mum, Burt, Rachel, Kurt, and everyone, everything.

The further down the road, the more distance between him and them. Family, good friends, fairweather friends, strangers, admirers, fans. No rhyme or reason. No justification, excuse or answers.

He'd have loved a brother or sister, or cousin. An aunt to bake for him, an uncle to play ball with. He secretly felt warm with Kurt's little crush, but warmer with Quinn, Santana and Rachel.

He was mortified by Mr Schue's accusation, but floored by his final admission.

Everyone has an addiction, a shame. Something to make us feel better, higher, take away the pain. The physical pain, the emotional pain. No ability to make others understand why. No wanting their acceptance. It just is what it is, his.

The sun shines, the moon moves and the globe spins around. Like sand through the hour glass, so too the days of our lives.

A tear escapes, rolls downward and falls. A sniff, a backhand, to wipe away the sting. No tissues, no threads of material, he left his jacket behind. The scent of someone been. You can wear it, you can own it, it's yours.

I'm numb but I feel every hurt, every cry, every anguish, every scream I hear. I hear the calling of my name, the yelling, the sobbing. The calm before, during and after the storm.

It was an accident, I'm sorry and I can't take it back, I can't make this better. I just can't undo what has happened. I can't do it for you, even though I want to. I so very, desperately want to undo it all. But I can't. And now I feel anger. Anger at the situation. Sadness for what happened and regret. But I can't, for the life of me, I can't change it. And I can't hold my breath any longer, there's no point, there's no possibility.

Please don't say how you wish you and I spent more time together, or that you wished you'd been more or done more for me? Please don't talk of me in the past tense. I felt your love, I felt your dismay, your respect, it was honest and real.

When you write in the card, when you sit and mourn with others, it will make this real. I am real, I was.

Please lift up your chin, please smile your beautiful smile? Please go on and be happy? Please live your life to the full? Be there for yourself and for the others. Be there for me, where I can't be, now.

**~ Dearest Rachel, everyone, Love from Finn Xx Oo ~**


	4. Oh Holy Glee!

**Total Addiction Declaration:** Like seriously, you think anything except my loving adoration and I'll admit it: I'm hooked on Glee and Dalton. You think anything other than that would inspire these words, that I've just got to throw down on the 'puter-baby and upload for you to read and enjoy? Until next weeks ep…. (Um replay, till then)

**Total Ownership: **Glee, lots of stuff but not the copy rights to their show, or the song mentioned. My imagination, yeah it's mine , my words from my heart are mine with full ownership.

**Dedication: **To '_rakasklaine', 'CP Coulter', The Dormouse from F/B page of Dalton by CP Coulter. _And to Paul my hairdresser_._ Love and inspiration to all.

**Rating: **M, 16plus. Different countries allow certain activities for different ages, so check your permission age for your country. I also suggest purchasing your own legit copy of the series and what music you can get your little paws on. Don't buy pirate stuff! We don't ship pirate in reality.

* * *

_Channel 11 recommend parental supervision for the following programme. It's rated 'UFB', also those requiring administering their contraception supplies refreshing, better do so now. We really suggest, that you press record on your little device. Quickly turn the telly off, run down to the store and get said supplies. You better take cash, and be fed, because the queue will be long and the opportunity of eftpos machines crashing is pretty darn possible. When you come back, freshen your sheets, have a hot shower. Indulge in whatever delightful rdink gets you ready. Grab your hunny bun, sit back down and press stop, rewind, play. For those without a hunny bun, we apologize for tonight's episode and recommend that you don't watch, or hear. And that you either go out and find a hunny bun, or turn your back on Glee. Your choice. Channel 11 and Fox accept no responsibility for any offspring consequences following in nine months plus, after the airing of tonight's episode of Glee. This, and lots of others before this, is probably the raunchiest episode. The inclusion of one extra cast member has made …._

**~ Oh Holy Glee! ~**

The dictionary has the meaning of glee: 1. Great merriment [syn: hilarity]; 2. Malicious satisfaction [syn: gloat]. I am a firm believer that the people, who put together our great Glee, are getting great satisfaction from casting the character of Elliott Starchild Gilbert.

But I join them, with celebration, of their choice of actor and all that entails. I'd also like to wish Kurt a very, enjoyable, journey as he works intently with Elliott. We need to point out to Blaine, to be extremely careful with his relationship with Kurt. Because if he's not very careful, Elliott will be snapped up by Kurt, after his floor to air pumping hip moves definitely took Kurt's breath away.

Blaine, did you not think it strange that Kurt needed your assistance, so early in the day, to attend to that wonderful delicacy we call 'Ummmmina, ummmminaaaa'?

Research is exhausting at the best of times, for ….., you know, documentaries and literature pieces. Having to watch 7:00 minutes to 11:09 minutes, for four hours straight, was absolutely hell on earth. But, umm, one more time …

Kurt's pov:

"_The black Mad Hatter just walked in the room. Oh my God, he's absolutely gorgeous. Um, I'm not sure if oxygen is necessary anymore. I just, …. want, … him. Oh Holy Hell!"_ And with that single observation of Elliott for the first time, Blaine's existence is … Who?

"PAUSE!" yells Kurt. And Paul, the cameraman pauses the tape once more. Kurt makes all the necessary notes, for assessing if Starchild is up to the look for his new band.

Quiet whispering is heard while he writes down what his eyes see and his mouth wants, desperately. "Black, but not shinny, except all that stardust. Black four inch high, boots, black and black stripe pants, black semi trench coat with stardust sprinkled from the shoulders down the front lapels, sleeves. Black gloves with fingers poking out, he needs black nail polish too. Time for him to man up, be a man. Is that a black vest? Little gold eye goggles hanging down around neck and a really beautiful black silver tie."

Time is lost in research at the best of times. "I'd just like to loosen that tie and … okay. Tidy tie up and, God his lips are just so thin,… and really, really delicious. Oh heck those eyes. I've got to find out who did his eye make up. God, those eyes! They follow you around the room. Ummmm!" Time does stand still, for those who wait, and wait, and …..

"Mr Hummel, the tape is going to snap if we don't keep going on." Paul walks up to Kurt, who is standing way too close to the screen. Paul taps Kurt a few times on his back, for attention. "Mr Hummel?" Now Paul has to shake him. "Kurt?"

"Oh, sorry Paul. Right, yeah, okay, back to the beginning then."

"The beginning? Are you serious. Shirley you can't be serious?" Paul face palms as he reluctantly walks back and presses stop, rewind, play.

Whispering and note taking continue. "Oh.., my God…., again!" And Kurt looks to the ceiling above. "Lord, who made us all adorable and in your likeness. If you are going to send me dreamboats like this, and grab at my nether regions, then saying your name in vain is going to happen."

"PAUSE, REWIND TO THE BEGINNING AND PLAY!" yelling over his shoulder to Paul, once more.

"KURT, I'M GETTING REALLY SICK OF THIS. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, IT'S BEEN NEARLY FOUR HOURS NOW OF JUST A TEN MINUTE SCENE. HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS?"

"PAUL, THIS IS WORTH EVERY SECOND. CHECK OUT THOSE LIPS, AND EARRINGS, THE WAY THAT TALL HAT IS POSITIONED." And Kurt turns around to see Paul's exasperated face. "OKAY, JUST TWO MORE TIMES. AND YOU CAN MAKE ME A COPY TO TAKE HOME THEN."

Stop, rewind and play just a few more times. Whisper, scribbling continues, again and again. "Tall, wide rimmed. Umm!" scribble through rimmed. "Brimmed edge of the hat. That's a really tall hat. And sits just nicely on his …." Sigh, cheese and whiskers of delight… "… his head. Oh that forehead, those ears. Is that a belt around his neck? What the hell is with that. Reminds me of certain ring I saw someone being given once. A bit kinky, hmmmm."

"OKAY, FINAL TIME. I'LL JUST WATCH NOW. AND NOT TAKE NOTES." Paul waits for Kurt to put his note pad and pens away. He taps his foot as Kurt has a stretch, adjustment of clothing, rdinks the rest of his glass and sits back down. "I LOVE YOU PAUL. THIS IS GREAT YOU HELPING ME LIKE TH….."

"JUST SIT BACK DOWN, AND LET ME PRESS THE BLASTED PLAY BUTTON!"

Whispering to himself "Okay, one more, delightfu…..g time." And play resumes, one more time. And thoughts progress "_I'd help him be him.. Warrior Queen? Oh dear. Yes, grab that microphone pole that way. Ahuh! Head to the side, lovely. Eyes left, so truly dreamy. Hand cups the hat and brings down to your lovely chin. Oh…! That … mouth, delectable lips…. Yep, hold the microphone tighter, tighter…."_

Paul can see Kurt blinking and getting very flustered. He'd been smiling wide and admiring this young Mr Hummel enjoy his night. It was about time Kurt took some enjoyment. Adam had been a bastard kicking him out of the Apples. Blaine had been wrong to cheat on him, and then rope him into engagement. And Finn leaving, had nearly been the last straw, in breaking Kurt's passion for music and song.

Elliott throws his hat stage right, rips the microphone off the stand and holds his eyes firm with Kurt's. "I'm not gonna cry anymore…." Four steps left and jumps down off the stage. He walks over to the piano and sits on the edge. He holds the piano comfortably between his legs and leans a little forward. Kurt's eyes are wide and his heart is definitely beating fast. Sigh! "…. I hold my ….I'm gonna marry, the night ….."

"STOP!" just as Elliott, once more lays down on the auditorium floor and starts the air pumping, Kurt realizes he can't take anymore. He grabs his bags and proceeds to leave the room.

"Um, Mr Hummel?" he turns to Paul, who'd followed him to the studio door. "Your tape."

Kurt goes to take the tape, but shakes his hand as he declines it. "No, that's fine thanks Paul. I don't think I want to take that home." Sigh! "I've got Blaine at home, waiting."

**~ X ~**

Elliott made an impression alright. But Kurt needs to keep Blaine his priority.

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**Extra little author notes, from a cute little author: **I'm always asking for your review. So, you don't need to log on, just type away. If you don't have a log name, feel free to make it anomininoush and then press the button on the bottom rightish area.  
Also, I'm not ever going to claim to be perfect. I'm good, real good, but perfect and high expectations are …. I'm having fun, loving life, enjoying my new hair do and being the absolute best God made of me. Hope you enjoyed my little snippet of this ep.


	5. My Love of the Xylophone

**Answering the question of where did I get the idea to do this:** Like seriously, you think anything except my loving adoration and I'll admit it: I'm hooked on Glee and love Maroon 5 too. You think anything other than that would inspire these words, that I've just got to throw down on the 'puter-baby and upload for you to read and enjoy? Until next weeks ep.

**Total Ownership: **Glee, lots of stuff but not the copy rights to their show. And the songs mentioned, do you remember where they come from. C-rights not mine either. However, my imagination, yeah it's mine, my words from my heart are mine with full ownership. And my tatts, yeah I own a few. They're kute and cuddly, like me. Mwah!

**Dedication: **To those in relationships, and those who aren't. Love and inspiration to all. To those who agree my Blaine stories should stay in Blaine, Blaine, Blaine Devon Anderson. Oh hunny, hunny! Mwah (insert drippy love hearts)!

**Rating: OMG! **Who else saw the huge map of Australia, on the stand in Kurt and Rachel's kitchen? Did you see little me waving from below the paper line?

* * *

**~ My Love of the Xylophone ~**

**A page from this author's Glee rule book.**

**Twerking {Kurt to Blaine} rule:**

I'm the director, the owner, the producer, I'm yours, and guess what? You're mine. Don't even think of dancing that way. It gets others wanting you, and you aren't available. I'm obsessive, jealous and highly possessive.

You need dominating, and not from a master, you need it from me. This isn't a half assed, half arsed, half baked, request or demand. This isn't just a line in the sand for you to not cross. This is me telling, requesting, pleading. This is a Sebastian moment, Chandler moment, an Eli moment. I can't lose you, I want you, I need you.

Don't you need, want and love me? Do you want an open relationship, where others come and go? I love you, but I love me more. I can't give you that freedom, and you shouldn't have expected that I would.

**Grief rules and rocks the tattoo house:**

What's a harmless little ink? A shark Finn, a grub or ladybird sneaking out from only we know where? Throw my hands in the air, okay, the tattoo artist might know as well.

Tattoos are permitted, especially if done by a professional. There's always talk that only shady characters have tattoos, and you'll get hepatitis or HIV. Some of that might be true, but being careful with everything, safe sex and safe everything is a good rule of thumb.

Let me grab you by your shirt collar and bring you in to me, let's do it baby, do it! Get it done by a professional artist, with hospital hygienic ways, we know how shady you and I are. So there really are no worries, put our thinking caps on! Hmmm, what shall we get, where shall we get it? Kurt loves Blaine and Blaine loves Kurt, in a love heart, corny, mooshie and kute. Perfect!

Ah NO! Hunny, hunny, No! {Blaine to Kurt}

No tongue, ahem places, industrial piercings and other place piercings are allowed, in this rule book. No Friggin Way! No explanation! Why? Reasons, that's all!

And when you come back for your tatt to be fixed, next time I'm gonna join those dots on your back. I'm gonna number them, and join them up. Guess what the picture will be of? Hmmmm!

**Standing up rule:**

Honey, it's fine by me if you stand up for yourself. Those jerks wouldn't argue back if they were in the war, looking down the barrel of a gun. The deer dies, when she doesn't fight back against a lion. You won't die, if you stand up to your bullies.

Pay the price, if you do the wrong thing by society. Go to jail for 20plus years, if standing up to aparthied is your cause. Stand up and be counted, stand up and say physical violence is not okay. Psychological violence is not okay. Slushies too, are not okay.

Let's claim back the city streets for women, men and children. Young and old people. Claim back a safe reality, for you and I.

But remember what the solicitors and barristers say, "When the threat is removed, it's no longer self defence."

**Blaine Rules:**

He looks so good with letting his hair grow a little bit more, put glasses on him for that **A** **V**ery **P**otter **M**usical feel. Oh, hunny, hunny. But wait! What is that I see? Cream, green, red, purple, orange, navy blue, lavender pants. Look closer with me, wiggle my pointy finger at you, come closer, do you see it too? Blast, it's gone.  
(oh I love researching for this author, remember to remove personal notes) (a gold bow tie today, oh he is so kute. and the show paused with his head on this f…g gorgeous angle. yep, research is fun. and that's one of the loveliest shirts I've ever seen on him. hmmmm! don't forget to take out the personal notes!)

**Songs, music and dance rules:**

Glee rules!

Waltz me around the dance hall, lambada me baby, baby!

A…n…d now come on baby,

let's do the twist.

Come on babyyyyy,

lets do the twist.

And twist like we did last summer.

A…n…d mash that hot potato!

Sing with me, if you know this song

You could be a heart breaker,

would you like to play with danger.

Well get it from a stranger,

singing I la, la, love you.

At least I think I do.

But don't go breaking my Jarley heart.

And tongue piercings are out, if you want to sing love with me.

**Ep 5 rule:**

We are who we are. We're not gonna change. (and now it's paused, and he's even frikkin' kuter.) We're gonna embrace who we are, lean into our strengths. (I'd love to lean into himmmmm!)

* * *

**Extra little author notes, from a cute little author: **Mr DC put on his f/b wall an expression of interest to raise funds for the devastation of the Philippines. That's a great cause. He's such a gentleman, humanitarian. But I'd like you to be careful where you donate. Many a horrible thief will pretend to be a much loved celeb and diddle us all for our money. Mr DC is going to print out post cards, and post them to everyone who donates US$25. He is going to personally sign each one. How lovely, how generous, how wonderful. But I won't be participating like that. I'd much rather the small light, of just contributing my donation, of I'm not telling you amount, to a registered charity.  
So, enjoy what you can in this world. I hope you are enjoying my little words of contribution, as we digest the latest ep. And if you can, when you can, buy yourself a copy of the seasons dvds. Don't pirate, we don't ship pirates in reality. Unless you want your reality stolen, by someone who could sell your life cheaper.

**Ps: **Did Rachel and Kurt make reference of their habits and Oh heck, did Kurt just say Maroon 5 and get skyper lucky? And am I hoping the producers and writers of the show are reading mine, and other of my fave stories? Gleeeeee! Mwah!


End file.
